Everyone loves talking.
More so when it comes to talking about their lives or themselves. The opportunity to communicate in terms of thoughts and feelings are pivotal. Not denying that it is possibly one of the few ways an individual could signal the identity he or she wants to share with people around them. It strengthens self-esteem and reinforces confidence. Because of that, they got carried away most of the time.
I am an attentive observer. Sitting at a corner of a café, I could easily compute almost every table has a dominant speaker. Tables with more than one dominant speaker are usually the loudest, given that each raises voice level against the other in competing to be heard.
Talking is easy. Talking is cheap, and talking enables one to feel really good about themselves. If everyone is busy talking or promoting their stories, then where are the listeners? It would be surprising if a conversation can be formed with all speakers and zero listeners.
Listening, as in active listening or attention dedication to properly comprehend what the third person is saying. “We’re having a meaningful conversation” or “I am giving a full upload of my stories” are two different thing. That’s why it’s strange when someone asked for a catch up with no intention to hear what the other person has to say.
“But, he is quiet and engaged in what I have to say.” – How do we we know when there isn’t a courtesy or interest to ask, or even providing an opportunity for him to speak?
Listening. Listening requires patience. Coupled with observation, listening requires focus, and it’s difficult because even there is feedback to share alongside the conversation, listeners would have to find the right time to say it. Perhaps, being given an opportunity to share point of views without being interrupted would be much appreciated. Most of the time, listeners end up receiving a full download of information from insensitive beings with no opportunity to speak up – poor ‘one-sided communication’, so they said.
Of course, lending ears to friends are pretty common. Likewise, friends who lend, borrow too. They need space to speak, to share, to be part of thoughts and feelings shared to them, and to feel belonged. We love talking, but have we listened enough from the people whom we have over-flowed information to?
As much as…
Empty vessels makes the most noise.
It’s even true that “Those who listened learn the most.”