“Interesting. She’s got a pretty good life. I wish I’ve got this life.”. . (next). “Amazing, I want to do that too, how did he get there?” .. (next). “Lucky her, I wish I could…..” (next).
The more I scroll, my self-esteem got pushed further – not upward though. Admiring how others life on Cloud 9, imagining how my life would be if I could do this and that, and painting a picture of hope that someday and somewhere I could be there doing the same. “If only I could…….” repeats in my head, like a million times. Ambition seems far reaching, and anxiety kicks in. Here I am, distracted and feeling distanced from the rest of world.
I’m not sure what happened there. I am curious to know what’s out there. The fact that I’m reflecting others’ life against mine indicates the list of adventures I regrettably did not do. I’m not sure what’s stopping me from doing them now either.
If you really want something, you will go extra miles in getting it, no matter what.
Have I not tried hard enough? I am nervous.
I am nervous as a result of indulging too much into instagram feeds posted by others I’m connected with. People whom I know. Because I know them in person, I’ve voluntarily juxtaposed myself with them. Because I have big dreams, I believe I can do so much better than today. I feel discounted and miserable. Are these how it supposed to be?
Inadvertently, a ton of others’ life feeds set expectations on me.
Instead of admiring and embracing others’ inspirational content, they made me envious and feeling inadequate and sorry for myself. Is it worth? I am conscious that everyone is capable of publishing contents, and even manipulating them in order to gain attention. Sometimes, it is unbelievable that one’s life has so much excitement going on and so much more to offer – almost every second there is a new story published.
Instagram makes me nervous. The posts and story feeds from friends make me feel like I am not making the most out of my life. I would love to do so much. It takes quite an effort to constantly remind myself that not all of them are my priority.
Despite how nervous it makes me feel, I would still like to enjoy instagram, in a different way – especially artistic feeds that inspire creative thoughts. Hence I started a purposeful instagram account @framesoflifeblog to continue exploring what I love doing, focusing less on my personal account. Connecting with like-minded individuals from around the world provides me a strong sense of belonging and positivity. Not so much about comparing, but more about sharing similar honest interests. I am fulfilled.
Today, I own a blog that connects me to a world of talented writers. It co-exists with an instagram account that connects me to a world of artistic individuals. They make me less nervous for the purposes that are well defined.
Photo by ian dooley